15 in 15, Lesson 6: My Worth Isn’t Defined By Scores Or Results
It’s almost second nature to measure success through numbers, especially in sports. Whether you’re an athlete or not, it’s easy to look at the numerical outcome and wrap your worth and abilities around it. I’ve seen myself do this – more times than I’d like to admit – with my scores at a meet, my assignment and exam grades, and my GPA.
The worst it’s gotten was this past gymnastics season. On beam, my favorite event, I started the season getting 4 consecutive scores in the 9.7 range. I was frustrated. I was doing routines that were free of wobbles and had an overall clean execution. I felt like I should have been scoring higher, and my teammates voiced the same thoughts to me as well. I knew I was good at beam, but getting 9.7s over and over again made me feel like I wasn’t.
I started to ignore the fact that I was competing great routines and instead defined my success in the meet solely on the score of my beam routine. It got to the point where I believed I wasn’t good enough and began to mentally spiral. The lack of belief in my abilities greatly hindered my physical performance at practice, and therefore, at meets.
Not every instance is as extreme as this, but this is my worst experience of it.
As I went into the off and pre-season, I began making an intentional effort to separate my worth from the scores I received or how good a practice was or wasn’t. To be honest, this isn’t an easy thing to do. It’s hard to keep this perspective and mindset, especially when I’m working so hard and want validation for my efforts.
In hard times, in particular, I try to remind myself that I am more than an exam grade or beam score that is less than ideal. I am a daughter, a sister, a friend, and a teammate. It’s important to ground myself in these relationships and roles, focusing on being the best I can be in those roles instead of defining myself solely by my athletic abilities.
As I am still working on this skill, I acknowledge that it’s okay to feel a pull toward scores and grades. It’s part of being human. My advice for you, and honestly myself too, is to see yourself beyond your accomplishments. Separate yourself from being an athlete or student, and allow yourself to be more. Reflect on what you contribute to the world and those around you beyond your title.
At the end of the day, success will come and go, but who I am and who I strive to be stays with me. Reminding myself of this regularly helps me refocus on the things that truly matter, and I hope it does the same for you.
With love,
🌟 Taylor
