The Art of Coexisting: What I’ve Learned About Being a Roommate
My 3-year and all-time favorite roommate, Lali Dekanoidze, and I 🫶🏻
Like many, I lived under my parents’ roof for 18 years, sharing the second floor of our house with my older brother, Austin Schulze. Of course, we had the typical sibling fights over who got the shower first or telling each other to “stop being annoying” when friends were over, but for the most part, I had grown comfortable with how things were. After all, I had plenty of time to adapt to living with my family.
But when I hopped on the plane and headed off to college, I was met with a new challenge– living with a randomly assigned roommate in a double dorm room. I no longer had the familiar patterns of living with my family. This feeling was replaced by the unknown and unpredictability of living with someone I’d never met.
Over the past 4 years, I’ve had a total of 6 roommates and various living situations. Each roommate brings their own habits, personalities, and special qualities.
Through it all, I have learned a lot– about myself and others. Here are 10 lessons I’ve learned from my experiences as a roommate.
People do things differently than you do. Whether it’s cleaning, loading the dishwasher, organizing the pantry and fridge, or how often they go to the store, everyone has their own way of doing things. Learn to accept these differences and use them as an opportunity to learn from others.
Cooking at the same time as someone else is never worth it. The stress of tangoing around the kitchen to avoid inconveniencing your roommate while simultaneously not burning your chicken immensely outweighs waiting until they’re done.
Respect other people’s personal space and have boundaries for your own. Even if you’re close, everyone needs their time alone to recharge with TikTok and a sweet treat.
Initial communication is essential and can prevent conflict down the road. This means deciding how the rent will be split up, which days to pay bills, dividing chores, and whether you’re going to share food and common items or not.
Keeping the common areas clean is more important than keeping your room clean– no matter if you’re a naturally clean person or not. Your mess shouldn’t be someone else’s inconvenience.
Compromise is key. You won’t always agree on the thermostat, when to start being quiet at night, or decor choices. Learning to meet in the middle helps avoid unnecessary conflict.
Sometimes it’s not worth sending a text about putting the dishes in the dishwasher differently. Just flip the forks and rearrange the cups and bowls. Pick your battles.
Not all friends make the best roommates. And that’s okay.
Boundaries matter. Whether it’s food in the fridge, time in the bathroom, or having people over, respecting each other’s boundaries helps everyone feel comfortable in a space they equally pay for.
Everyone has off days. Both you and your roommates will have bad or busy days. Being understanding and occasionally picking up their slack can help prevent resentment and will encourage them to do the same when you’re in that position.
Being a roommate has taught me a lot. Not just about living with others, but also about myself. From learning how to communicate better to embracing compromise, each experience has helped me grow in various ways. While every roommate situation is different, these realizations over my experience as a roommate have made the journey smoother and more enjoyable.
Bye for now!
🌟 Taylor
